in reality- things turn all the way. and the way it turns, it just hits you.

and that made you even hate more people- you know, you feel so insecure and things like that.

you see, i’m a a typical 17 year old kid with no ambition, no real life and i couldn’t let the parentals know that i smoke. i have no intention of doing stuffs that i apparently didnt know. i don’t see why you apparently express the word hate into words but man, i understand. if the prolems involves parentals, then that got nothing to do with me.

ofcourse i love them, but i don’t see why i need to be included. that goes to my little sibs. i don’t see why we needed to me told off too.

i don’t freaking mind of anything- because im not the one who controls any ones life. and i don’t even see why both sides have to be so karas and i was pissed actually.

i don’t get why things just turned to be something.. i don’t know, bullshit? and i don’t fucking see why the stuffs tends so revolve and stop at this kind of point.

i don’t see why the hate expression need to be said on some place that i could discover just like that.

so, if you don’t really like what’ve happen, why don’t you just come and clean? i swear i tried to hard to convince the parental, and i swear its so hard that i felt like strangling them to death.

i couldnt deal with these stuffs really- so what i’ll do? i shutted up. i can’t be bothered to show any fake shits to things like that- it’s pointless.

and if you think you met the sickest family you ever had- well yeh, probably you had and i hope you could live with it.

i am not being that sarcastic- but i just couldnt change things to the better. i couldnt convince enough- and i hope you could understand.

so far, its me and my sister knew about this.

man i suck at this kind of thing

Oh god, I don’t feel so well since yesterday morning. Well, woke up at 10, then remembered that I need to go to college by 1 pm, but then my head don’t feel so good. Like man, macam hangover saja.

So, decided to not go to school. WOHOO! Haha.

Last night, had a chat with the bastard about males. Yes, he was discussing about his gender. We talked about shallow dudes. That includes…

Dudes who talks about DARKNESS all the time

Dudes who’s MSN nick is so whiny and sTeWpId.

Dudes who talks so much about his ex.

Dudes who talks about how many money he spent for his hobby.

Dudes who talks so much about porn.

Dudes who said he likes candlelight dinner.

Dudes who told me he fantasize malay girls with D+ size bosoms (which apparently not gonna happen unless you got a v rich father who doesn’t care about you).

I included one too.

Dudes who doesn’t appreciate my fav band. Screw you and your PARAMORE SHIT MAN!

So, I told J the thing he said was awesome. I said…

“Where’s all the true-dudes? I mean, dudes that doesn’t wears perfume, the dudes that doesn’t drink tea bags, dudes that doesn’t wears mask, dudes that doesn’t care about their acne, dudes that doesn’t care about how you look and most important, dudes that doesn’t use those bags with wheels on the airport?”

Anyway, it’s kind of WTF when you actually met a dude that’s all those. It’s too shallow.

And J promised that he will never ever ever never gonna use the bags with wheels on the airport anymore. HAHA.

Aiya! It’s so sad that my life’s getting shallower than ever. The only thing that excites me now was listening to Shiny Toy Guns, Talking with J on the phone about the meaning of life and go to the happy land a.k.a Brunei FM.

And I can’t wait to balik Brunei. I think I’ll register at the Tutong gym place thingy. And I hope it’s not bankrupt yet.

i don’t know why, but death questions struck my head today. i don’t like to think about it seriously.

anyway, just realized that when drunk people mumbles, they actually make sense. don’t you think so?

and sir…

i promise i won’t spell any american words anymore ever ever again.

i promise i’m going to spell color with a u.

i promise i’m going to spell color with a u.

i promise i’m going to spell color with a u.

i promise i’m going to spell color with a u.

i promise i’m going to spell color with a u.

i promise i’m going to spell color with a u.

i had a nice chat with danny about the power of lurveeeee. i swear i was freaking heartbroken dari kelmarin, but what the heck- HIDUP MESTI HAPPY YAW!

anyway, if you ask why, i don’t know. i guess i got this v high hope, or probably i was desperate (i know, kesian bunyinya). but man. 2nd time?! FACK LAH!

as you loyal readers know, i got this v ULTIMATE HUGE CRUSH on this dude before. and it apparently didnt work out. so i havent tell you why, well, i heard ia ada partner dah, so it’s kind of pointless. i end up staring at his photo for eons and rip it off. hahaha.

and i wont say a word about the 2nd one- it’s kind of, idk. macam aku siuk sendiri- so its kind of pathetic. ah well.

and i think zaim’ll agree on this- we suck at this love thing.

i need J so bad, J!!! TALK TO ME ON MSN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last night, i chatted with amal. we got a little convo about soto. and she was talking about lada rindu? lada perindu? lada sulah? (inda ku ingat pasatinya awal2nya LADA).

and that reminds me of 2 years ago. i know, 2 years ago lah beb, macam WTF kan? i cant believe its 2 years ago. i can’t even believe yang time just goes so fast!

gila, rindu ku eh. the only time when everyone was tres innocent and loyal. and the battle of siapa ada boyfriend awal doesnt even exist time atu.

anyway,

Dear Nappy, Good luck interview esuk! JGN KAJAR-KAJAR!! I LOVE YOU BEB!!!!